Monday, July 6, 2009

Building Sandcastles



It’s really funny how life unfolds. On Friday The Little Miss and I went to the beach with a couple of my friends. What’s really nice is that my friends, both of whom I have been friends with for over 10 years, both have daughters within 2 ½ years of The Little Miss. All three girls go to the same preschool. A preschool that has a total of 6 children enrolled. My friends and I are all of “advanced maternal age” and we were just marveling at how, at this point of our lives, all three of us ended up as moms.

My friends fought hard to be moms. Between the two of them, I’ve witnessed 7 miscarriages. Each time, a very sad occasion and as the years passed, it became more and more unlikely that either would become moms. Then 4 years ago, the first of us had a pregnancy that stuck. The baby came early and fought to be here, but a fighter she was. Then me, the fertile one. The one who got pregnant, right off the bat. I had been on birth control for nearly 2o years and within 2 months of going off the pill, I got myself knocked up.

I remember the last of the three of us, still motherless, who by this time had had 4 miscarriages, came by my house and handed me a bag of maternity clothes. Bravely congratulating me and holding back her tears.

“I don’t think I’ll be needing these” she said as she handed me the clothes. It was as if she was not only giving me the clothes, but passing on her neatly folded dreams and hopes.

I was speechless. What could I say? I was overwhelmed by her thoughtfulness. I wrapped my arms around her, we hugged tight and I listened, as the tears fell. I wished I could give her what I had. What she wanted so badly.

Three months later, I gave her back those clothes.

“I think you’ll be needing these,” I said.

Fast forward 3 years and as unlikely and impossible as it seemed, all 6 of us were at the beach building sandcastles and dreams for our future.


15 comments:

a corgi said...

that was awesome! what a great story to read and so neat all of you are at that point in life where you can enjoy your children together; I'm sure they will be best of friends too!

betty

Shelley said...

I got chills reading this - so happy for all of you!!!

Hanlie said...

Ah look, now you've made me cry! Great story and really touching for me personally... It's sometimes been hard to be around fertile people, not because we don't want them to be fertile, but because we so want to be like them... I honestly believe my turn will come. After all, I'm only just turning 40.

Monica said...

I love that!

Gigi said...

Where to start in terms of how much I loved this post (photo included)!! It was beautiful.

As a veteran of the infertility wars and ultimate victor in the adoption game, it brought a tear to my eye. Somehow, things seem to work out the way they're supposed to. How nice it all worked so well with the 3 of you.

(PS - kept remarking the same sans-sweat deal about Federer during the entire match. Roddick sweating buckets - Federer's hair gently tousled. I know a few people who go thru life like that too - haha).

Teresa said...

What a story, it brought tears to my eyes. Isn't it great to have such close friends, and now maybe your children can form the same kind of bond.

Tina said...

What a great post. I'm so happy you all got what you wanted in the end!

Priscilla said...

This post was beautiful. I've been struggling with infertility for the past 5 years so this post really touched me. I gotta go now before I turn into a weepy mess.

Christine said...

This is such a nice post :)

I'm so glad it all worked out for the three of you.

Wendy said...

awww, i love happy endings!

Asianmommy said...

What a sweet story.

H.K. said...

OMG! This post made my cry, it was beautifully written and I'm glad it had a happy ending!

CouchPotatoAtHeart said...

That's so lovely:) And so nice that good friends are at the same stage in their life as you are. It means you all have company and support.

Aleta said...

Can you rub some of the pregnancy wishes on me? Greg and I want a baby, but I'll be 40 this year and it doesn't seem that we'll have children. Greg doesn't want to do some of the fertility drugs, because he doesn't want the chance of multiple births. Prayers would help!

It's beautiful that you and your close friends have children within the same age group. What a blessing for sharing and understanding!

Sagan said...

That's wonderful. Definite chills.