Friday, May 30, 2008

The Walking is Paying Off

Lookey what I found on my walk yesterday!

Thursday, May 29, 2008

A Little is A Lot

Sorry I've been kinda a lousy blogger lately. With the 3 day weekend, my heavier than normal workload this week and lack of anything interesting happening, the past week has been a bit light on the content side.

Here's a couple random things I've over heard in the office lately that just made me want to scream.

1. "I know, I've been trying to gain weight. I want to put on 5 pounds but I just can't seem to do it."

2. "She'd be a totally hottie if she just lost some weight."

I don't know what one made my blood boil more, but thinking about it now, I'm going with #2. Even worse, the guy who said it is my boss. Which one makes your blood boil more?

On another note, as of this morning, I am officially down 18 pounds, 3.5 more little ticks until I'm 1/2 way there. I set a goal of losing 43 pounds which would put me at an even number and 15 pounds lighter then the day I got pregnant. It might seem like a rather random number but I remember feeling heavy at my pre-pregnancy weight and wanting to drop 10-15 pounds back then. When I started, I was classified as Obese on the BMI Scale and that just didn't seem right or possible. How did I get obese? I have since moved into the overweight category, when I'm at my goal weight, I'll be classified as "normal." I wonder what it likes to be normal? And why do they call it that? Just a thought.

The past week I've started getting The Question, "Have you lost weight?" I can't help but smile when I hear those pretty little words. I can tell the difference. I could feel the difference when the first pound was shed. But now it seems like other people are beginning to see the difference and that makes me a happy girl. I, of course, play it off and say something like, "oh, maybe just a little." I've never been one to play up my personal successes but to me, this little is a lot.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Me, Me, Me...

This post idea, is totally taken from the ever positive and lovely Hanlie. Thank you for giving me something to blog about today. It's been hard getting back to my weekday routine after spending a lovely long holiday weekend with the family.

And like Hanlie, I'm not going to tag anyone but please feel free to take this and run with it.

1. What is in the back seat of your car right now? A car seat, a blanket, plastic horses, crumbs of various food The Little Miss has snacked on.

2. When was the last time you threw up? That's a tough one. I want to say it was when I was knocked up about 2 1/2 years ago, but unfortunately I'm sure I've had a night since then where I drank a wee bit too much and tossed my cookies, so to speak.

3. What’s your favorite curse word? Fuck

4. Name three people who made you smile today. The Husband, and 2 of my co-workers

5. What were you doing at 8am this morning? Sitting in my cubicle at work

6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago? Sitting in my cubicle at work

7. What will you be doing 3 hours from now? Hopefully being at home with The Little Miss and The Husband. Probably running around the backyard or running through the sprinklers.

8. Have you ever been to a strip club? No

9. What’s the last thing you said aloud? "OK, see you soon, thanks."

10. What is the best ice cream flavor? I'll go with Mint Chip although there's many many I love.

11. What is the last thing you had to drink? Water

12. What are you wearing right now? Black sandals, khaki, capri's, a black T-shirt and a necklace and earrings I made this weekend.

13. What was the last thing you ate? Chicken enchilada and vegetarian beans

14. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? No. I'm waiting to buy clothes when I shrink out of the clothes I currently own.

15. When was the last time you ran? Saturday when I left my purse at the park. I ran back to see if it was still there and luckily I got it back, whew!

16. What’s the last sporting event you watched? Dodger baseball game.

17. Who’s the last person you e-mailed? The President of the company I work for.

18. Even go camping? Yes.

19. Do you have a tan? Yes.

20. Do you drink your soda from a straw? Yes. Although I've been off soda (Diet Coke) for almost a couple weeks now.

21. Are you someone’s best friend? Thankfully, yes.

22. What are you doing tomorrow? Lots of things including working, blogging, parenting, having friends over to the house for dinner.

23. Where is your mom right now? London

24. Look to your left. A brick wall.

25. What color is your watch? Black plastic, with light blue and silver.

26. What comes to mind when you think of Australia? A friend who lived in Africa, then Australia and now lives in the US. She's an amazing woman.

27. Would you consider plastic surgery? Yes.

28. What is your birthstone? Sapphire

29. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru? Both. Although I rarely, rarely go.

30. How many kids do you want? One and I got what I wanted.

31. Do you have a dog? No

32. Last person you talked to on the phone. Our Amazing Nanny.

33. Have you met anyone famous? Yes.

34. Any plans today? Nothing out of the ordinary. Work and home.

35. Ever go to college? Yes

36. Where are you right now? Work, in my cubicle.

37. Biggest annoyance in your life right now? Not having enough guts to quit my job.

38. Last song listened to? ??? I don't know for sure since I listened to the news on the way to work this morning. Probably something by Jack Johnson.

39. Are you allergic to anything? Penicillin

40. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time? My black sandals that I have on right now, from Target.

41. Are you jealous of anyone? No

42. Who is your favorite actor/actress? I'd have to really think about it but I do like Mathew McConaughey, but not for his acting skills.

43. What time is it? 1:48pm Pacific Time

44. Do any of your friends have children? Most of them do.

45. Do you eat healthy? Probably more than the typical American, but not as healthy as I'd like.

46. What do you usually do during the day? Work during the week on the weekend it's all about creating fun for the Little Miss.

47. How old will you be on your next birthday? 43, already?

48. Have you ever been to Europe? Yes

49. Name one thing you’d still like to do. Be a stay at home mom. (see #37 above.)

50. Favorite colour? A beautiful sage green

Friday, May 23, 2008

The Big Girl's Big Step Challenge

So, I haven't been doing this bloggy thing very long and sometime I feel like I'm crashing someone else's party. I'm actually quite nervous about stepping out and putting together a challenge but I thought, what the heck, let's give it a whirl. If it totally sucks, I can always just leave this lovely Internet world and disappear, but I don't think that's going to be the case.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

As you all should know The Fabulous Miss Diana at Scale Junkie is coordinating a whole bunch of summer fun for everyone with the Summer Blog Party and as part of that bag of fun, yours truly will be serving as the lovely hostess of "The Big Girl's Big Step Challenge."

I'm making this super easy to participate in and there are prizes involved! Here's how it works.

The contest runs the ENTIRE month of July so get your pedometers ready.

If you don't have a good one, you can read about the one I love and recommend here. It's $20 and so far, Pedro (my little nick name for it) has been worth every one of the 2000 pennies I spent on it.

Walk as much as you can during July and track your daily steps.

At the end of July I'll have everyone email me with their ONE day biggest step total.

So in reality you have 31 changes to go out and kick some booty! If you don't do great one day, you still have 30 other days to do great! Don't you just love that?!

The top 3 steppers will be awarded gift certificates ($25, $15 and$10) to the place of their choosing.

See, my friends, how easy and fun is that!?

If you're not already lacing up your walking shoes and taking those strides, you should start NOW. You'll be absolutely amazed at how far you can be walking by July and racking up days of lots and lots of steps. So get out, walk, walk, walk but remember have to have fun and safety first!

You in? You game for a little summer fun? Let me know if you're interested in playing along... and you know I'll be checking my email every 2.3 seconds to see how many of you are game. It's that whole, I hope people like me syndrome, gasp!

Thursday, May 22, 2008

This's and That's

Sadly, I don't have much for you today. So if you important things to do, I'd move on outta here and do whatcha gotta do. Tomorrow, however, will be a completely different story...I got something BIG... literally! So check back in tomorrow and bring all your friends with you cuz it's gonna be good.

Here's what's going on in my world today.

1. Yeah for David Cook. I'm happy. But, can I tell you I was PISSED last night! I started watching after the show was over, because my handy DVR had taped it for me, and I could easily speed through the 83% of the show which I didn't really care to watch. I got to the end of my recording, the recording stopped but the show didn't. The guy with the envelope had come out, Ryan and The David's were standing there and poof... end. of. show. Done. Gone. Bu-Bye. I don't like you Fox, for letting (or scheduling) the show to run late. Don't you know, you really shouldn't leave a girl hanging like that? I had to get on line at 11:15 last night, way past my bedtime, just to find out who one, cuz it would've bugged me all night if I didn't know. Then, this morning I went and watched, this. I feel better now.

2. I've got another cold. I'm so over being sick, I'm just going to ignore it this time and maybe it'll go away.

3. I paid $4.07 for gas yesterday. Bite me Exxon, I hate you.

4. It's coming up to the long Memorial Day weekend which also means, summer Fridays at work. This is 1 of the 3 good things about working here. From Memorial Day to Labor Day we only work 4 hours and get paid for all 8. I'll try to complain less about work because, this is a good thing.

Have a good day everyone and remember, make sure you check back in tomorrow for my "BIG" announcement.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Introducing Pedro

Ever since I did Fat Bridesmaid's Pedometer Challenge, I've been wearing a pedometer. I wore a super crappy cheap one, which I think I got for free someplace. I was content, it counted and that's all I thought I wanted. Then I read this, which got me thinking. Yeah, a nice pedometer would be great. Something that keeps track of more than just my steps. I could track calories burned, distance walked, how many minutes of aerobic exercise I've done, blah, blah, blah, blah blah. And then I got to wondering. I wonder if it's a lot more accurate and would my steps be the same? And then I read this . And then, I was totally all over it. I got me one.

Introducing Pedro.

Handsome devil, isn't he?

And I love him.

And like Allison over at Losing it, I wore both Pedro and my old pedometer for a day and, like her, my step count increased. And not by just a couple hundred or so, but more like 20%, and that my friends, can add up! I have no idea how Pedro works, but this new little wonder has you measure your steps and then you input that information, so it seemed as though it should be more accurate. I did my own calculations by walking around the block, counting in my head and then looking at what Pedro logged and we were pretty much in sync.

Pedro's been clipped to my hip for about a week and we're becoming fast friends. I love going for walks and then checking the step count, distance and all the other fun little facts that he's got in store for me. It can be such motivation. Ideally I'd like to be over 10,000 steps each day and on the weekends I'd like to be closer to 15,000+. So we'll see. The weather has cooled today and is now back in that "perfect" temperature zone so a walk at lunch is in order for me. Maybe I'll even cheat a bit, in a good way, and go for a little longer than my lunch "hour."

Seriously people a good ped makes a difference and you should all run out and buy one. You may need it soon for something (a contest you ask?) I got brewing in my pretty little head. More info on that a bit later.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

I'm Feeling a Little Uneasy

Just thought I'd let you all know that I've got a massive hankerin' for some little sweet treat and that's about all I can think of at this moment. I think I should drink some water and hope this moment passes before my head explodes from too much desire.

It's Hot in Here

I live in a town where there's lots of famous Hollywood people. The only other thing I have in common with all those famous Hollywood people, besides this pretty little city we share is, I don't like hot weather. That's why I live here. My skin is like .00004 millimeters thick and I don't think that's much separating my insides from the outside. Because of this thin-skinnedness, I have to live in a climate that ranges between 68 to 73 degrees 94% of the year or I may just freeze standing up or melt like that mean witch in Wizard of Oz, and that wouldn't be fun. If it's not in that narrow range of temperatures I become very very cranky and very very miserable.

See that? That my friends, was the temperature inside our house at 7:36 last night, and for me, that has too many eights in it.

It was hot.

Too hot.

As in like, don't touch me hot.

I feel like such a pig when it's hot like this and kinda wonder at what temperature does it have to be to have my body fat just melt off? A house that's 88 degrees seems like it should do the trick.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Girls Are Fun

I'm feeling the need to re-focus, again. I was sick a couple weeks back that got me out of the grove and since then I started walking again and watching the whole food thing, but not with the same vigor that showed me results. I haven't gained but I haven't lost any weight so basically, it's been a wash. Then, this weekend happened.

A went to a friend's all girl dinner party, and not an ordinary dinner party I tell you. There were 6 girls and we did a, wine-tasting (read: many bottles) with our appetizers, which totally rocked, especially those new red potatoes stuffed with sour cream, blue cheese and bacon, and prosciutto wrapped shrimp, and did I tell you about the gourmet cheese and cracker spread? oh hello... it felt like I was just slathering the fat back on me. We did the "blind" tasting with the appetizers and whoever brought the bottle the group liked best, by show of hands, won a prize, unfortunately, that wasn't me. After sitting there for a couple of hours nibbling away, oh those potatoes, and drinking, we proceeded with more wine and dinner. Salad, lasagna and garlic bread, need I say more? Oh and let's not forget, dessert which was of course dessert wine, ice cream and cupcakes.

We had such a great time, we talked about our intimate issues which, as a group, we're dealing with, divorce, weight, raising our kids, husbands, relationships, caring for our aging parents, siblings etc... everything. We all have issues and we were all looking for advise and more than that, support. Just to know we aren't alone in our challenges is huge. We have our families to go to but we also need friends and girlfriends offer an ear and perspective I often don't get from anyone else. And best of all we talked without judgement, with talked with care and spoke with respect for each other. Magic happened, the magic that happens when it's only the girls. I was once again reminded that women are smart, strong and extremely caring. There's something about us women. We are a force and we should all be reminded at how powerful we all can be.

The night ended with us plugging in the dance mix and all the girls shaking our money makers like we were teenagers again. All I have to say is, girls are fun.

So here is Monday, back to the program, back to the daily grind and back to reality. A night without The Husband and TLM were great. I was happy to see them the next day but realized I really need to focus again, get my mind on right and make things happen. Although it's been really warm the past few days, as a start, I've committed to a walk at lunch. Wish me luck this week.... I'm off to read your blogs to perk up even more motivation when I hear about all your successes.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Too Soon

The world seems much different to me today. Yesterday was a rough day. The Husband called me at work, in the morning, to tell me our friend's 20 month old son had died. I was shocked and horrified. I had no words and I couldn't imagine what we could possibly say to the parents. I still don't know. The Husband spoke with The Mom and she said she and The Dad were doing as well as could be expected during this very bleak time.

Having a daughter roughly the same age hearing this news really made me think about my priorities and choices, where I am in my life and really needing to find more time to spend with my family. Because unfortunately, you just never know.

I can't imagine the pain and sorrow they must be feeling. Their son was taken far too soon, but I'm sure in his short time here he must have taught them the true meaning of joy.


Persian proverb:

When it is dark, you get to see the stars.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Misery Loves Company?

I never know exactly what I'm going to blog about, I usually have some ideas and basically I just start writing and words comes out. For me, it's just a way to get some things out in the open and off my mind, an exercise in my writing and hopefully something funny, profound or just plain entertaining comes out. But, today was one of those days where I had absolutely no idea of what to chat about. I was going about my normal everyday routine and catching up on reading all the great things you wonderful, fabulous, beautiful women are doing out there in blogland and I read this.

My first thought was aughhh... give up Diet Coke, are you kidding me? I did it once, years ago, for lent. I'm not religious but a friend of mine had past away a few weeks before and every year he gave up big things, and I thought in his memory I would try it. It went well, I struggled but I made it through and the first opportunity I had, I had a Diet Coke. But I read about Diet Coke and Zinger's quest for a DC free week and something clicked. I'm going to do this too. I'm on a quest to lose some weight and become more healthy so why not? Why not? Well basically, I love me some Diet Coke. Granted, I only have one at lunch but I so super look forward to it. It's high on my list of things that I really really don't want to do without but, this is worth a try.

I find a lot of motivation and support from your blogs and comments so, I thought I'd be there for her and she for me. We're all in this thing together, we're all trying to lose weight, we're all trying to be more healthy and we're all here for each other. So you ready for this one week challenge? Whatcha all think? You ready to give up one more little habit that might be something that's just not that good for you? It's only a week... come on folks, we've done harder things that this, right? And beside, we could use more company.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Making Friends

I had a really lovely evening last night. The Husband and I had two other couples and their kids over for dinner. There were bottles of wine, chicken on the BBQ, lots of laughing and lots of love in the room. Also a big part of the evening were the 5 little girls, from the ages of 5-2, running around the backyard and playing their pretty little heads off. It's so wonderful to hear the laughter and to see how easily children, at that age, become friends. They become friends and accept each other almost instantly because there's no judgement.

Sadly, it's not that way for me. I judge. I'm not sure how it is with other people and I think and hope I'm in the minority, but when I first meet someone, I won't like them. I think when the majority of people are introduced to other people they like them or are indifferent to them. For me, people need to win me over before I'll even give them a chance for me to like them. I check out everything and I'm ultra critical, especially of my womenfolk. I've noticed, the "prettier" the girls are, the more I instantly dislike her, and the less likely I am to try and make friends with her. I wonder how many wonderful people have come into my life that I've dismissed because they were good looking or some other trait that I was envious of. I wonder how many people have done this to me because there was something about my physical appearance that wasn't just right or perhaps I was just "too pretty."

I've never seen a therapist about this and I'm not a psychologist but I'm pretty sure this judgemental behavior stems from my insecurities. I'm not worthy enough to have "that" girl as my friend because she's so pretty. Or, she can't be nice because she's so pretty. Or, I don't want to be friends with her because she's prettier than me. This is not a way I want to be, I'm very aware of this behavior and just another thing I'm working on. I want to be more open to the possibilities to becoming friends with people and more than that I'd like to judge less.

I've shared this thought process with a few people and they are always so surprised to hear it coming from me. They are shocked because I'm very gregarious, fun, nice and seemingly so self assured. I have loads of acquaintances and a pretty big circle of what I consider close friends. If you know me, you'd never guess I have this ugly side to me.

It makes me sad to think that one day those pretty, little and innocent girls who were so accepting of each other last night will one day also judge, because it seems at some point that's just what happens.


On a lighter and happier note... after this past week of feeling poorly, I think I've got my sassy back. It's an absolutely beautiful day in the land where lots o' famous people live and I'm lacing up my running shoes heading out for my walk at lunch. YIPPEE.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Doing Right Again...

The past few days I've been pretty much laid up in bed with a zinger of a cold. I could feel it coming on last week and I did my best to deny the fact I had that cold festering feeling. But deny all I want, I got myself a cold.

I think I've made the turn and after basically doing NOTHING the past few days and I'm ready to get going again. I was doing great in Fat Bridesmaid Pedometer Challenge but my chances fettered away as I laid in bed bemoaning the fact that I actually wanted to be out there walking. Sure, it felt great to catch-up on some trashy magazines, because I didn't know that Mariah got married, didn't know what was happening in the wonderfully wacked-out world of Brittney and her knocked-up teen aged sister, but happy to hear that Minnie, Gwen, Tori, Nicole, Jessica and Angelina are knocked-up. It was also great to clear out some room on the DVR and watched hours and hours of Top Chef, Survivor, Brother's and Sisters...and the list goes on. You kinda get the picture of what was happening in my world?

Being lazy and sick does not bode well for my May goals. Basically I've been totally inactive and eating some down home comfort food. I kinda fell into the mode of I feel crappy so I'm going to eat something that might make me feel better. I mean when hasn't Mac 'N Cheese made me feel good? It's been bad. I fell into the same routine, eat bad, feel guilty and then tell myself, it's OK, I won't do it again but alas, it happened again and again.

I need to remember that it's alright and I'll be alright. I need to remember not to be so hard on myself. (Which begs the question, why are we so hard on ourselves? - a whole post in itself.) I'm feeling better today than I have in the past 4 days so it's time again to refocus. I need to work towards my goals. I need to work at being better to my body and to being better to my soul. The past 4 days are gone, today is another day and another opportunity to do right.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

May Goals

Considering it's May 8th, I'm a little late in getting these together but here are my May goals:

1. Drink more water. Seems pretty straight forward and easy but for some reason, I have a hard time accomplishing this task. I'm pretty high maintenance when it comes to my water consumption. I don't like it ice cold but like it cool. It has to be bottled or filtered since our tap water tastes like crap, well more like chlorine and chemicals. And I like to sip from a straw.

2. Drink less wine. I'm a lush and I like me some wine. I probably have a glass or two almost every single day. After my day working and then busying myself with my 2 year old, it sure feels good to reach for mama's glass o' vino at the end of the day. It would be an easy way to cut some calories and I can't miss it that much can I?

3. Lose 7 pounds this month. I'm down 3 already so I'm thinking I can get knock a few more off before the 31st. 7 pounds was just a sorta random number I pulled out of the hat but I guess lucky number 7 has a ring to it.

4. Continue to exercise and make time to hit the gym. I'm barely finding time to take my walks, but I know the importance of weight training and I guess now is just as good as any to make the time to do it.

5. Continue to watch my portions. It's working so far, so I just need to make sure I continue to do this.

6. Have fun. Maybe this should have been #1 but I guess it's saving the best for last.

Have a good day... I'm heading home to crawl back into bed, I feel like crap.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

It's a Fairytale

This has NOTHING to do with weight loss, fitness, walking, my life, or anything that normally gets shared here, but a friend of mine sent this to me and I just thought it was hilarious and wanted to share it with all of you.

Hope you enjoy it as much as I did or maybe it's just my sense of humor that finds this so funny.


Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?'

The girl said: 'NO!'

And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn't get fat, traveled more, had many lovers, didn't save money, and had all the hot water to herself. She went to the theater, never watched sports, never wore friggin' lacy lingerie that went up her ass, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants and was pleasant all the time.

The End

Breakup Update

It was a bit uncomfortable at first, but I told my friend yesterday I would be walking more at lunch and that I'd be out hitting the pavement for sure the next two days. I saw that look of disappointment in her face and she of course played the martyr/guilt card, "well then, I guess I'll just work through lunch." Guilt. Guilt. Guilt. I asked her if she wanted to join me and when she said she couldn't, claiming a sore knee, I was secretly happy about it. I've noticed I really enjoy taking the time to myself. It's really the only time during the day that is M. I. N. E. Other than my shower in the morning or my 6 minute commute to and from work in the car, the rest of the day is filled with work, family, friends or other miscellaneous commitments. My job, which often means dealing with really stupid and irritating people, or after work it's family time, which yes, I totally LOVE but it's not time I can think, reflect, work out challenges in my life and just have some quiet time. It's amazing the places my mind travels when I just let it go, when my body is on auto pilot, the sun shining on my face and the rhythm of my feet take over. I'm totally over the guilt and I'm super happy with the decision and it's going to be good for me on both physical and spiritual levels.

On another note, after my lovely solo walk yesterday I went to my favorite sandwich shop to get the standard 1/2 sandwich (generally turkey but sometimes roast beef), whole wheat bread, no mayo, no cheese, extra Dijon mustard, extra onions (yes, I love me some onions), lettuce and tomatoes...totally delish. Well I took one bite of it and to my happy surprise they put on the mayo. Tell me that wasn't the best little taste treat ever! OMG!!! Mayo = Heaven. I know that was a one time deal but that is certainly one mistake I wouldn't mind if they made again.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Ever since I committed in doing The Pedometer Challenge, I've been talking walks. I love walking and live in a place where there are great walking paths, so much to see, and the weather is nice all year 'round. There's really no excuse to not to get out.

My crazy schedule is such that I really need to fit in my walk on my lunch hour. Not only is it a chance to exercise, but a chance to get some fresh air and take a much needed break in the middle of my day. I've found it rejuvenates me and helps make the last few hours of work just a little more bearable. The problem is, my friend. My co-worker whom I've eaten lunch with basically, every single day for the last 5 years just isn't of the same mindset and I'm having a hard time breaking our lunch routine. There have been days in the past few weeks where I've made excuses to not lunch together so I can walk, I've invited her to come with me and I've even asked that we walk just a few extra blocks after our meal so I can get a just an itsy-bitsy stroll in but none of those solutions seem to be working for her. For some reason I'm having a hard time just telling her that we're kinda sorta breaking up.

I know in my gut, it's ok to do what I want to do and what's best for me. I'm just having a hard time telling her "sorry, I'm out for lunch today because I'm walking." I'll miss our every day lunch date, but I need to walk and I promise, I'll still save some days to lunch with her because I'll miss her.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Thoughts and Things

It's back to Monday. The weekends are so glorious, a time to refresh and dream about what life would be like if I really didn't have to work. I took long long walks, gardened, played and did things things that I wanted to do. It was my time, my time with my family and the time I enjoy the most.

The Husband and I have been talking a lot about our life and really needing and making it a priority to find more time to spend together and spend more time with TLM as a family. I think with TLM turning 2 years old and the fact that she's starting pre-school on Friday (sigh) it really put it into perspective that we need to make our lives and dreams happen. We would both love to find a way to be the ones that drop TLM off at school every morning and pick her up from school in the afternoons. We want to be the family where other parents call is to help out to drop off/pick up as needed, because they have to work and we have the time. As it is now, we will be having "the nanny" do that for us and that doesn't sit right with me. TLM loves her nanny and she is more than willing to help out (read: get paid) but is it right to have to hire someone to take your child to/from school?

We've have an idea to make a huge life change, something that we both want. Something we've been talking about every night for weeks, something that we're both dreaming about, something we've been researching and something that maybe one day will happen. It's going to be a long process, something that might end up being a pipe dream but something that I'm willing to let my mind wander into that space of where I want my life to be.

Bottom line is we need to make some changes, it's scary but it something needs to be done. This is our one shot at our life and we need to take action.

Speaking of changes, on the weight loss side, things are happening. I've dropped another 2 pounds this week and according to the CDC website, my new BMI calculations have gone from obese, to plain ol' overweight. Yeah, I'm overweight!

Friday, May 2, 2008

Food For Thought

These questions were inspired by her...thanks for making me think about what's going on.

1. What types of food were you most likely to overeat?

Pretty much anything that's not a fruit or vegetable, I don't discriminate. I love cheesy things, crunchy things, fried things, salty things, sweet things, you name it. I've been known to sit down with my friends Ben and Jerry, eat a whole sleeve (or more) of Thin Mints, go through a whole block of delicious cheese etc... I can't really say that I'm more likely to overeat a certain food, I just plain overeat.

2. What times of day did you overeat most often?

In the evening. I tend to eat more when I'm at home and hanging out. I also tend to overeat or make poor food decisions after a drink or two, which for me is always evening, but not every night.

3. What feelings were you having most often when you overate?

Guilt. Guilt. Guilt. While I'm eating something that I know I shouldn't be, I generally feel guilty. Once I'm done, it's remorse. Why did I do that? or I can't believe I just ate that. Then I feel pretty helpless... why did I just do that? I can't believe I just did that, that was stupid. Was eating that a good idea?

4. Do you think you have a binge eating disorder?


5. What circumstances in your life do you believe contributed to your weight gain?

Laziness. Complacency. Feeling like I needed to put other peoples needs in front of my own. I have a daughter that's two years old, and for the past couple of years I feel as though I've been in a haze and putting her schedule and needs first. For anyone that is has kids, it's a major change and culture shock to have kids. I just now am feeling like I can take a step aside and carve out some time to exercise and taking a better look at what and how I'm eating.

6. Do you 'blame' anyone for your weight?

No one but myself. I take full responsibility for it.

7. What other behaviors made you overweight?

Apathy. Not really caring enough to do something about it.

8. Were you active or exercising while you gained weight?

No. Simple as that.

9. What made you finally want to change?

I'm now a mom. I want to look hot for my husband and live longer for my daughter. In a vain sense I want to be a pretty mom. I want my daughter to think I'm pretty. I also know I feel better, have more energy and have a better outlook on things when I'm not being weighed down, literally and figuratively.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

David? Me?

Someone just sent me this in an email and I'm not sure if I should take it personally. But in reality, that's what I think my body looks like, plus or minus a thing or two.