Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Wordless Wednesday

Last Beach Day of 2009?

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Random Thoughts on Halloween

1. Kids should get dressed up and go trick or treating, not teenagers.

2. Trick or treating at the mall is wrong. There has to be at least one safe neighborhood you can hit up.

3. A woman should be able to find a costume that isn't the slutty version of cop, nurse, cheerleader, doctor, angel, devil or whatever it is.

4. More people should make their kids costumes and not just buy them. It's a great way for kids to participate and make it even more special.

5. When it this holiday become ultra-commercialized?

6. I love candy corn.

Monday, October 26, 2009

My Friday Night

We met about 5 years ago. In that 5 years, both he and I got married, to different people. I saw him on Friday. Sitting across from each other, I had that feeling. He leaned in. He cupped his hand around the back of my neck. Butterflies. We kissed, for the first time ever. We quickly released from each other and had that startled look on our faces, franticly looking around the room to see if anyone saw. We both knew we shouldn’t have done what we did and were afraid of getting caught.

This happens to me occasionally. I dream about people I know in real life. We hook up to some degree and in my dreams I know it’s wrong and am afraid of The Husband finding out. Sometimes it is with people I think that if my situation was different we’d get together. But, it’s rather creepy when it’s someone I have no attraction to in my waking hours. I’m always embarrassed to see them after one of my dreams, thinking they might know for some reason.

Does stuff like this ever happen to you?

Friday, October 23, 2009

A Whole New World

Friday. The last day of the week. Ice cream day. Sleep over day. Rewards for a milestone week at school.

She started to read. Sounding out words. Putting the sounds together and in the process opening up a whole new world. Words are her thing. A reader at 3 and a half. Amazing.

She inherited the love of reading from both sides. We are both readers and now a family of three, reading.

At bedtime, I asked, “who do you want to read books to you tonight?”

“I’m going to read. To the adult.”

“The adult?”

“Yeah, Mama. You.”

So she read. To me. No longer me to her, but her to me. Slowly sounding out the words.

I’m so proud.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

The Big Break-Up

Dear Scale,

I have to end our relationship. It’s not you, it’s me. I’ve changed and I just don’t seem to want you anymore. It’s not that I don’t care what you have to tell me, but the numbers just don’t seem to matter. I weigh what I weigh and what you tell me won’t make any difference. I feel good these days and I don’t need you to tell me otherwise.

There’s other ways to confirm what is happening. I can tell if I’m gaining or losing by the tightness of my clothes. I can tell the good days from the bad and I don’t want to base my success on the numbers you tell me. There are other successes in this journey besides your digital readout. And frankly, sometimes I think you lie to me.

So good-bye. You’ve tortured me enough. I know this will be hard on me because you’ve been a weekly reminder for over a year now, but I’m over it. I want to feel my way though this based on other factors, not just a number. I am eating fresh healthy foods because it tastes better. I scarcely eat sugar because it makes me sluggish. I exercise because it gives me energy. I’m doing what feels right for me and I don’t want you or anyone else to tell me it’s not working, because for me this way is working just fine.

So good luck to you. I wish you well. I’m sure you’ll find someone who will appreciate you as much as I once did.

Monday, October 19, 2009

My Personal Science Experiment

Well, I’m now into my 6th day of “Project Cleanse.” And I have to say, I think things are working. I don’t want to go into too much detail because I don’t really like to talk too much about my own bodily functions. If they were someone else, no problem, but me? I’m too modest.

But for the sake of information, and since AllThingsJuice was so interested I’m setting my modesty aside. Here’s what’s going on. I haven’t been gassier than normal, but the smell, oh my. Pungent. I’ve kept my diet the same as always, but I’ve been having more “movements” than normal. Instead of going once a day, I’m now up to 2 to 4 times a day and they are bigger and softer. There also seems to be more chunks of stuff in them. And, no I don’t normally make it a habit of inspecting my poop, but since Project Cleanse has been happening, I’m a little more curious than normal.

I’ve been trying to stick closer to home than I usually do, for obvious reasons. I also feel lighter, for obvious reasons. I feel better, have a little more energy and am sleeping better. I can’t directly attribute all these things to Project Cleanse, but who knows and that’s what’s happening right now. I’ll continue to do Project Cleanse for the recommended 10 days. I’m not sure how often it’s recommended, but I would do this again.

Sorry this is so disgusting. I hope when we all meet you won’t look at me with that strange deer-in-the-headlights look because this is all way too much talk and information.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Rhymes With It

“Mama, listen to my rhyme. Sit, mitt, lit, bit, tit, shit, pit.”

“Oh, honey, that’s great rhyming.”

That’s my girl.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

My Favorite Beverage or Not

Yesterday, I bought a jar of Colon Cleanse capsules from Trader Joes. The label reads:

“Take 4 capsules 3 times daily with 10 to 12 ounces of water, juice or your favorite beverage. Taking this product without enough liquid may cause choking.”

Choking? What? Seriously? Would that sort of be like choking from the inside out?

And since I don’t think I should be drinking 10 to 12 ounces of, ahem… “my favorite beverage” 3 times a day, I guess I’ll just stick with water. Lots of it.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

They Fit!

I fit into my jeans today. A couple weeks of watching what I shove in my mouth makes a big difference.

And to those of you who wanted to know where yesterday's pictures were taken... it's the Eastern Sierras, near Mammoth.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Where I've Been

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out why this is one of my favorite spots in the world. The Husband, The Little Miss and I made another trek up to the mountains again this past weekend. Got in one last trip in before the snow started to fall and was able to get a peak at some of the fall colors.

We hiked under cool sunny skies. Made s’mores by the fire at night. The Little Miss kept asking why it was so quiet.

Today, back to my cubicle at work. Depressing.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

I've Been Thinking...

I can’t believe it’s already Thursday, where did this week go? I guess I’ve been busy since I haven’t had really had a chance to post since Monday. Not sure what I’ve been busy with, but the time has been flying by.

The weather here has started feeling like fall. The sun is still warm, but there is a coolness in the air that makes it just perfect to take afternoon walks. I’ve been leaving The Little Miss in school to nap her afternoon away which has given me a couple of hours to stroll around the neighborhood.

My mind wanders when I walk and in my mind have total freedom to dream. I’ve been dreaming big and feel like the next few years there’s going to be a shift in my life. Not sure where the antsy-ness of current situation is coming from, since I’m in a good groove but I feel like there is more in me than what I’ve been doing. I think if someone was going to write my story, they would have to include phrases like “untapped potential” or “never tried things she wanted” or even worse, “was too afraid to try.” I know in my Zen like thinking, even if I do take a leap, the landing will be soft where ever I find myself.

So, I’m thinking about my 5 year plan. I visualize what I want my life to look like in 5 years. I looks remarkably similar to what I have now, The Husband, The Little Miss, and me. But I’d love to live in a simpler place. I’d love to be able to set my schedule. I’d love to be able to create beautiful things. I’d love to grow garden flowers and pick produce from my own garden. I’d love to have more space around me to breathe deeply. I’d like to relax more.

Honesty to the life I want.


Monday, October 5, 2009

People Are Lazy

Don’t get me wrong, I love Trader Joe’s and I’m all about making things easy and simple. But really, this? Pre-cooked plain pasta? Seriously? Are people now too busy and/or too lazy to boil water?

For some reason, this just seems wrong to me, but sadly, I think a lot of people will think this is the best thing since sliced bread.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Bite Me

I’m starting something new today. Something I’ve been putting off for probably a year now. Something I’ve never done before and something I know a lot of you are doing. And something I’ve quite frankly been afraid to do. Afraid to do it because I’m scared of the truth.

Today, I write my food intake down. Augh. I’ve done this with the money I spend and have found huge gaps in what I think I’m spending and what I really am spending. It’s helped me be more conscious of where the money is going and has helped me focus on spending more wisely. I have a feeling that is what is going to happen with my food diary. What I think I eat is probably far different from what I actually eat. It’ll be interesting to see.

I promise not to bore you daily with all the details of what I am eating every day but, today I'll bore you just a little. So far this morning:

½ turkey sandwich. Whole wheat bread, turkey, lettuce, tomato, and mustard
½ decaf coffee, 1 tablespoon cream

And almost more importantly what I didn’t eat (and maybe I should keep a separate list of this) a brownie from the tray of The Little Miss and I baked up a couple nights ago.