Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Getting Dressed is Fun

Getting dressed wasn't always fun. In fact, there were times when I just down right hated it. When I was at my heaviest, 25 pounds ago, there were only a couple pairs of black pants I wore every single day. I refused to go out and buy more clothes in THAT size because I pretty much refused to believe I was THAT size. When in fact, I was realistically a size bigger but was absolutely in denial about it and so not going there.

I struggled everyday. Everyday I'd face the question, "what should I wear today?" And everyday I ended up wearing one of the two pairs of black pants and some solid colored shirt. Everyday, I'd tell myself, I really need to lose weight. Because everyday I felt disgustingly fat, uncomfortable in my skin and my clothes. But alas, I would put something on and tidied up enough to face the world, even though I really didn't want to.

I didn't really like to wash my pants since that meant the tightness would be even worse and there would be the break in period while I "stretched out" my pants again. I would wear big jackets, to hide the roll around my tummy and if I didn't have a jacket on I'd often tie a shirt around my waist to "hide" my booty and waistline. I wasn't fooling anyone but it made me feel incrementally better.

Over the weekend, I went through my drawers and pulled out clothes that scared me not too long ago. I avoided them, knowing there was no way I would try them on unless I wanted that feeling of depression and anger to wash over me. The depressing feeling of, yes, I once could fit into these but now, I'm too fat. But this weekend was different. I searched those clothes out and I bravely and anxiously pulled them on, holding my breath, and hoping for the best. And the best happened. In most cases, my clothes fit. I did my little happy dance, over and over.

I've started a stack of clothes, including 1 pair of those old black pants, which are going bye-bye. I'm keeping the other as a reminder of how far I've come. I tried those black pants on this weekend and was able to slip them on and off without even unzipping them. It was kinda like a fun little magic trick and I had to laugh when I did it.

I'm proud of what I've done so far but also know there's still work to be done. I still want to feel stronger, feel more fit and I'd still like to lose more wight. I don't feel as though I'm "there" yet. I'll get there, it may be a while but, if this moment was fun and I'm going to enjoy it for now.

19 comments:

Missicat said...

YAY! I have a "new" wardrobe now and it's a great feeling.

Christine said...

I know exactly how you feel.

However, right now the smallest jeans I own fit me 25 lbs ago and I too can slip them on and off without undoing them - my belt is now more of a lifeline.

Still, I want to lose some more weight before I spend money on new jeans since I (hopefully) wouldn't be wearing them very long anyway.

Kate said...

hmmm... I have to go get my "fat pants" and try them on again. I could use the encouragement today!

Diet Coke and Zingers said...

I could have written this post word for word... doesn't it feel GREAT?!!

Gayla said...

Huge Congratulations! I am very proud of you. I find that I get my motivation by trying on those clothes that are too small, and then realizing that I have lost enough weight to get into them. That is an awesome feeling! One that helps push me on.

Alli said...

"I didn't really like to wash my pants since that meant the tightness would be even worse and there would be the break in period while I "stretched out" my pants again."

That was so me!!!

You need to be proud of what you have accomplished!!

Allison said...

I'm so glad you old clothes are no longer "scaring" you! And I'm so glad you can fit in them. Congrats!

Pattie said...

Thanks for the comment on my blog. This is my first visit to yours - nice to meet you! I think we're neighbors, of a sort. I'm in Ventura County.

Hey, I'm doing a happy dance for you! What a great feeling, to have those old [ants slide off so easily. You go, girl!

Pattie said...

Oops! I think that was supposed to be PANTS sliding off you, not some form of ants! 'Scuse the typo. :-)

Sagan Morrow said...

Thats great! I'm glad you're happy and feeling so good:)

new*me said...

it is so much fun finding clothes in the closet you couldn't wear or that are now tons too big! Love it!

Keep up the good work!

Christa said...

Super! Keep on keeping on! :)

dadivastreet said...

That is Wonderful & you're doing great! You WILL get there, enjoy the moment. May it be just one of many! Have a great week! P.S. Get that push-up in gear!

Irish Mom said...

Oh my gawd... Are you in my head!! I totally identify with this. I can't wait to try on my current jeans when the are my "fat" pants!! have a great day!!

Heather said...

oh I can totally relate! that was me and it was not a fun way to be. I hated mornings because I would put everything on in my closet and feel so unhappy. I never washed my pants either because they would get so tight. how horrible! its so wonderful now to be able to actually put something on and feel great about how I look. or to buy pants and allow them to stretch out and then wash them! definitely focus on these rewards because its so worth it!

themarlatts said...

Yay!! What a great feeling. The first time around with my weight loss I was pumped pumped pumped if I could take pants off without unbuttoning them! It really is the best magic trick!

I'm so happy for you!

MizFit said...

and enjoy the NOW is what life is all about in my opinion.
you can have moreotherbigger goals but life is too short not to stop and CHEER FOR YOURSELF!

M.

Thinking Thin said...

It's such a good feeling to feel clothes getting looser!

40 by 40 said...

That is so great! I am so proud of you! Enjoy the good feelings!