I drink wine every day. Two or more glasses every single day. Yep, I do. There, I’ve said it. More drinking on days where we have friends over and that happens to be at least twice a week. And all that drinking, my friends, has to stop.
Last Saturday night we went to a local upscale “camping” resort where they have a band, bonfires and picnic areas where you can bring your own dinner/drinks. We went, with the Fire Family, for a night out, the monkeys running around entertaining themselves and the adults snacking and drinking and drinking and drinking.
That’s how it always seems to be, them playing, us drinking. Me drinking. More. A lot. Too much. I stumble to bed, my sleep is horrible, I wake up, mouth parched and unrested. I toss and turn, wake up at 2am for more aspirin and there are just too many days I feel like crap in the morning.
After Saturday’s binge, I’ve put an end to it. No more drinking on school nights, the exception is when we have friends over, and then it’s only a glass or two, not a bottle or two. Time to scale way back and honestly, it’s going to be hard. I’I look forward to walking to the wine cooler, every day at 5 o’clock and pulling out a bottle. Wondering little nugget am I going to enjoy. The first sip, heaven. The last, not as memorable, in fact almost always forgotten.
There are too many blank holes in my memory. Things I don’t remember. Too many times I’ve had to ask The Husband if I made an ass out of myself. Too many times I’ve wonder if I was slurring my words. Too much to lose if I keep on this path. Too many bad examples being set.
I don’t know exactly when it was that I started drinking every night, but I think it was about the time when The Little Miss appeared in my life. I needed the relief. The break from reality. The break from the fact that I was a MOM. Holy shit! Me? A mom. You’ve got to be kidding. I was 40 years old, and never thought I’d be a parent and that transition was hard. Really really hard for me. I needed something and wine was my drug of choice. Easy to get, socially acceptable and something I already knew a lot about.
So I’m choosing a different path. One of more responsibility and maturity. The one I was on before. A drink. A glass. Not every night, but on some nights. Special nights. On occasions.