Thursday, February 12, 2009

I'm Still Big

My wardrobe sucks. I basically live in black, white and khaki. I wear mostly solid colors, my clothes are getting old and I generally prefer comfort over fashion. And I’m sick of it all. I want some fun, funky clothes, something bright and sassy. I don’t go clothes shopping very often and since I’ve been losing weight I really haven’t wanted to spend the money on clothes that might not fit me in a few months. But everyday, I get dressed and am depressed by what I see. It’s the same ol’ nasty things. I even still wear some camis from Old Navy Maternity, and I was pregnant 3 years ago.

So yesterday I went shopping. I was ready to plunk down some money for a new little top. I’m off to see The Bride this weekend and just wanted something cute to wear while we endlessly discuss wedding dresses, wedding sites, wedding dates, wedding flowers, wedding everythings. I braved it and went to a “regular” store. I picked up larges and extra larges hoping something would work. I stayed away from the solid black shirts and really tried to find something that I normally wouldn’t wear, but thought was cute. I had high hopes.

Those hopes were crushed. I’m not as small as I was hoping to be or as small as I think I am. I could barely get my arms through some, others were pulling at the bust line and the cute babydoll cut makes me look like I’m knocked up. ARGGGGgggg! I walked out of the store, feeling totally gross, almost in tears, frustrated once again, but refusing to go back to Lane Bryant. I so want to fit into “normal” clothes. I want to be able to walk into a store and fit into something they have. I don’t want to go to the big girl store any more.

14 comments:

Wendy Lou said...

I agree with you 100%. There's nothing worse then walking by all the normal stores with their cute window displays on your way to the big girl store. Everytime I step into one of those stores I feel like crying.

I hate shopping, and I've also gotten to the point where when I'm not in my work uniform I'm in stretch pants and black t-shirts. Not something I ever wanted to be seen in, let alone live most of my life in.

Keep going though, your blog is great and I love reading it. We're totally in this together.

Heather said...

soooo frustrating! I remember that stage all too well. I had lost enough weight to get out of the plus size stores, but not enough exactly that I could look right in some "regular stores". sometimes it sucks, but if you put in a lot of time, you can find some clothes that you love. I realized that - it wouldnt be easy, but just keep looking and finding pieces here and there you feel GREAT in, and soon you will be where you want and can shop where you want, and youll be ever the more grateful because you wont have to have experiences like this again.

Tony said...

I'm sorry that you had a bad experience at the clothing shop. It has happened to me many times as well, so I know exactly how you feel.

You'll get there eventually, we both will :).

Cammy said...

I know it's demoralizing (I cried the first time I went to "missy" sizes and couldn't find anything that looked right), but your day WILL come.

Keep in mind, too, that styles and sizes vary A LOT between manufacturers. I still can't wear a size large comfortably in some shirts. When you're feeling stronger again, try a different store or two.

MizFit said...

may I be a tiny timid voice of optimism?
Im in the middle of interviewing Jen Lancaster and what always stays with me is the fact that she saw herself as smaller than she was (her words) this will be a blessing for you down the road and is, IMO, a small one now?

it is, as studies show, indicative of high selfesteem.

(I know. hello bounds. allow me to overstep you!)

Miz.

Teresa said...

Don't be discouraged, one day soon, you will strut right in that same store and everything will look great. Your doing great, maybe it was the style of clothes you were trying on.

Tina said...

Sometimes I literally laugh out loud when I put something on. I guess I've always used my sense of humor as a defense! Don't worry too much. Even 10 pounds makes a huge difference in how clothes fit. We can do this. Especially since it's time to start exposing more skin soon. Blerg!

MaryFran said...

I know exactly how you feel. Buy the bare minimum of what you need to get by. But keep working at it. You'll be in 'regular shops' soon!!! Don't let it get to you!

Tena said...

Some of the clothes they make today are cheaply made and sizes vary from store to store. Which doesn't make what you experienced any less frustrating, but just know not all sizes are true.

Try other stores and see what you can find. Don't let the "size" of the item be so important. It's how it makes you look and feel that matters.

ps-I've been reading your blog today, sorry for so many comments in one day!

ani pesto said...

I'm in just the same place, I *think* I should be into the 'normal' size L and XL by now and I'm nowhere near. Fashions at the mo certainly aren't helping, the lines and cuts don't flatter at all, just about everything (if it goes over my shoulders) makes me look pregnant and even bigger than I am.

You WILL get there and it will be worth it, I absolutely believe it. Hang in there.

Sagan said...

HUGS. Shopping can be really crappy sometimes.

Krist Summer said...

Don't let this get you down for long.Soon enough it will happen and when ou least expect it. Keep up the great work!

Hanlie said...

I know exactly how you feel!

SeaShore said...

This is a post that really hit home. Mentally at least I'm done with the big girl store, too.