For all of those who have participated, today is the last day.
Please email me at biggirl65@gmail.com with your total steps for the ONE BIGGEST day.
For all of you that participated, thank you.
I'll get back to everyone when I get back from vacation.
Hope you're all having a good week.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Finally
I finally got word my part time status has been approved and I'll be starting my new groovy hours in about a month.
No longer will I be getting up at 5:30a to drag myself to sit in my cube all day. I'll be getting up around that same hour to get to the gym. No longer will I feel trapped all day. I'll be working 9am to 1pm. No longer will I have to hire someone full time to raise my child. I'll be able to do more of that. No longer will the projects I want to do, pile up around the house. I'll have some time each day to do a little something. No longer will the scales feel so imbalanced between work and home.
I'm excited about the possibilities.
No longer will I be getting up at 5:30a to drag myself to sit in my cube all day. I'll be getting up around that same hour to get to the gym. No longer will I feel trapped all day. I'll be working 9am to 1pm. No longer will I have to hire someone full time to raise my child. I'll be able to do more of that. No longer will the projects I want to do, pile up around the house. I'll have some time each day to do a little something. No longer will the scales feel so imbalanced between work and home.
I'm excited about the possibilities.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Road Trip Pit Falls
I love road trips and I can't wait until next week when The Husband, The Little Miss and I are cruising the west on our way to Jackson Hole, WY. We'll be driving for 3 or more days, crossing 4 states and thousands of miles. And I can't wait. Even if I'll have to listen to hours of Dora. On a side note... BackPack if you're reading this, if I have to hear that silly back pack song of yours one more time I may just have to rip you off Dora's back. Sorry for that little rant but all you parents out there, with Dora fans, know exactly what I'm talking about.
Back to the road trip. In my more carefree days, it was an excuse to eat junk food. And even now, in my less carefree days, it still seems like an excuse to eat junk food. This could be bad.
Nothing screams ROAD TRIP to me as much as fast food does. It's hard to think of driving for hours without a stop at Mickey D's. And honestly, McDonald's is pretty much the only fast food I'll eat. Well, besides that and In N' Out, but their fries aren't nearly as delicious. I know I should pack healthy snacks but there something about eating a bag of carrots that just doesn't seem quite as appealing to me as munching on some greasy and salty french fries from Mc Donalds.
My goal is not to stress or worry too much about what may happen on our vacation when it comes to food and exercise. I already know my eating is going to be horrible. I know I won't be able to drink as much water while on the road unless we want to stop every hour. I already know that I won't be exercising for at least the first few days of vacation and I know my body will react. What I also know is that this week is one little hiccup and I'll try to negotiate my way through without too much damage. If I stick to what's been working for me it shouldn't be too disastrous. I've gone on this weight loss journey with the mantra, have what you want, just be careful of how much you eat of it. If I stick with that, I should come out ok.
Back to the road trip. In my more carefree days, it was an excuse to eat junk food. And even now, in my less carefree days, it still seems like an excuse to eat junk food. This could be bad.
Nothing screams ROAD TRIP to me as much as fast food does. It's hard to think of driving for hours without a stop at Mickey D's. And honestly, McDonald's is pretty much the only fast food I'll eat. Well, besides that and In N' Out, but their fries aren't nearly as delicious. I know I should pack healthy snacks but there something about eating a bag of carrots that just doesn't seem quite as appealing to me as munching on some greasy and salty french fries from Mc Donalds.
My goal is not to stress or worry too much about what may happen on our vacation when it comes to food and exercise. I already know my eating is going to be horrible. I know I won't be able to drink as much water while on the road unless we want to stop every hour. I already know that I won't be exercising for at least the first few days of vacation and I know my body will react. What I also know is that this week is one little hiccup and I'll try to negotiate my way through without too much damage. If I stick to what's been working for me it shouldn't be too disastrous. I've gone on this weight loss journey with the mantra, have what you want, just be careful of how much you eat of it. If I stick with that, I should come out ok.
Getting Checked
I am in the middle the oh-my-god-I'm-going-on-vacation-next-week-and-have-a-shitload-of-work-to-do mode. Going on vacation is hard. Lots of extra work at work and a lot of extra things at home to get ready to leave. My list has been piling up and to add in the mix I've had a couple of doctors appointments this week.
Going to the doctor isn't fun. I really don't like it, but it's important. There are some people out there that "just don't want to know if there's something wrong." I think that is just silly and totally asinine. If there is something that is potentially a danger, I want to know so I have a fighting chance. So every year, I have a list of doctors to go to, a list of tests I get done and so far, things have checked out just fine.
Yesterday I had a super small growth taken out of my leg. The doctor isn't worried and it wasn't "highly suspect." But none-the-less, off it went and I now how a small hole in my leg. If I don't hear from him everything is peachy keen and if there is a problem with it, I'll be getting a phone call. As much as I like my doctor, I don't want to hear from him.
I also, go the results back from my blood work up and all my numbers are in line. I was a little worried about my cholesterol since last year, when I had it done, I had borderline high numbers. My doctor gave me the talk about all the things I already knew, but at the time wasn't doing. Eat more whole grains, fiber, veggies get more exercise.... avoid eating fatty foods, and all that stuff... blah, blah, blah...you all know.
I really didn't listen to him and continued on my merry way until about 4 months ago, when I decided to make the change. It was time. And this time my numbers were well within the acceptable range and no lecture.
But still troubling to me is, even after losing 25 pounds, my blood pressure is a little high. I've been on a really low dose medication for about 3 years and I've been able to keep my blood pressure in check. However, this past visit it was high and will have to go in again soon to have him recheck it. In the mean time, I'm going to try and get more exercise and lose more weight. I'm really trying to get off the meds rather then increase my dose.
I have one more appointment this week and the dreaded OB-GYN. Doesn't it seem like there should be a better way to get your girl parts checked? Even after 25 years of going to an OB and birthing a baby, I'm still not use to it. But, you do what you have to do.
The only fun part about going for me this year is stepping on the scale, and that my friends, I never thought would happen.
Going to the doctor isn't fun. I really don't like it, but it's important. There are some people out there that "just don't want to know if there's something wrong." I think that is just silly and totally asinine. If there is something that is potentially a danger, I want to know so I have a fighting chance. So every year, I have a list of doctors to go to, a list of tests I get done and so far, things have checked out just fine.
Yesterday I had a super small growth taken out of my leg. The doctor isn't worried and it wasn't "highly suspect." But none-the-less, off it went and I now how a small hole in my leg. If I don't hear from him everything is peachy keen and if there is a problem with it, I'll be getting a phone call. As much as I like my doctor, I don't want to hear from him.
I also, go the results back from my blood work up and all my numbers are in line. I was a little worried about my cholesterol since last year, when I had it done, I had borderline high numbers. My doctor gave me the talk about all the things I already knew, but at the time wasn't doing. Eat more whole grains, fiber, veggies get more exercise.... avoid eating fatty foods, and all that stuff... blah, blah, blah...you all know.
I really didn't listen to him and continued on my merry way until about 4 months ago, when I decided to make the change. It was time. And this time my numbers were well within the acceptable range and no lecture.
But still troubling to me is, even after losing 25 pounds, my blood pressure is a little high. I've been on a really low dose medication for about 3 years and I've been able to keep my blood pressure in check. However, this past visit it was high and will have to go in again soon to have him recheck it. In the mean time, I'm going to try and get more exercise and lose more weight. I'm really trying to get off the meds rather then increase my dose.
I have one more appointment this week and the dreaded OB-GYN. Doesn't it seem like there should be a better way to get your girl parts checked? Even after 25 years of going to an OB and birthing a baby, I'm still not use to it. But, you do what you have to do.
The only fun part about going for me this year is stepping on the scale, and that my friends, I never thought would happen.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Getting Dressed is Fun
Getting dressed wasn't always fun. In fact, there were times when I just down right hated it. When I was at my heaviest, 25 pounds ago, there were only a couple pairs of black pants I wore every single day. I refused to go out and buy more clothes in THAT size because I pretty much refused to believe I was THAT size. When in fact, I was realistically a size bigger but was absolutely in denial about it and so not going there.
I struggled everyday. Everyday I'd face the question, "what should I wear today?" And everyday I ended up wearing one of the two pairs of black pants and some solid colored shirt. Everyday, I'd tell myself, I really need to lose weight. Because everyday I felt disgustingly fat, uncomfortable in my skin and my clothes. But alas, I would put something on and tidied up enough to face the world, even though I really didn't want to.
I didn't really like to wash my pants since that meant the tightness would be even worse and there would be the break in period while I "stretched out" my pants again. I would wear big jackets, to hide the roll around my tummy and if I didn't have a jacket on I'd often tie a shirt around my waist to "hide" my booty and waistline. I wasn't fooling anyone but it made me feel incrementally better.
Over the weekend, I went through my drawers and pulled out clothes that scared me not too long ago. I avoided them, knowing there was no way I would try them on unless I wanted that feeling of depression and anger to wash over me. The depressing feeling of, yes, I once could fit into these but now, I'm too fat. But this weekend was different. I searched those clothes out and I bravely and anxiously pulled them on, holding my breath, and hoping for the best. And the best happened. In most cases, my clothes fit. I did my little happy dance, over and over.
I've started a stack of clothes, including 1 pair of those old black pants, which are going bye-bye. I'm keeping the other as a reminder of how far I've come. I tried those black pants on this weekend and was able to slip them on and off without even unzipping them. It was kinda like a fun little magic trick and I had to laugh when I did it.
I'm proud of what I've done so far but also know there's still work to be done. I still want to feel stronger, feel more fit and I'd still like to lose more wight. I don't feel as though I'm "there" yet. I'll get there, it may be a while but, if this moment was fun and I'm going to enjoy it for now.
I struggled everyday. Everyday I'd face the question, "what should I wear today?" And everyday I ended up wearing one of the two pairs of black pants and some solid colored shirt. Everyday, I'd tell myself, I really need to lose weight. Because everyday I felt disgustingly fat, uncomfortable in my skin and my clothes. But alas, I would put something on and tidied up enough to face the world, even though I really didn't want to.
I didn't really like to wash my pants since that meant the tightness would be even worse and there would be the break in period while I "stretched out" my pants again. I would wear big jackets, to hide the roll around my tummy and if I didn't have a jacket on I'd often tie a shirt around my waist to "hide" my booty and waistline. I wasn't fooling anyone but it made me feel incrementally better.
Over the weekend, I went through my drawers and pulled out clothes that scared me not too long ago. I avoided them, knowing there was no way I would try them on unless I wanted that feeling of depression and anger to wash over me. The depressing feeling of, yes, I once could fit into these but now, I'm too fat. But this weekend was different. I searched those clothes out and I bravely and anxiously pulled them on, holding my breath, and hoping for the best. And the best happened. In most cases, my clothes fit. I did my little happy dance, over and over.
I've started a stack of clothes, including 1 pair of those old black pants, which are going bye-bye. I'm keeping the other as a reminder of how far I've come. I tried those black pants on this weekend and was able to slip them on and off without even unzipping them. It was kinda like a fun little magic trick and I had to laugh when I did it.
I'm proud of what I've done so far but also know there's still work to be done. I still want to feel stronger, feel more fit and I'd still like to lose more wight. I don't feel as though I'm "there" yet. I'll get there, it may be a while but, if this moment was fun and I'm going to enjoy it for now.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Good Times
I don't want to name any names, but someone I know is down a couple more pounds today.
It seems like the being pretty diligent and having a good routine Monday through Friday seems to be paying off. I still have a harder time with Saturday and Sunday, but even with lots of good times this past weekend, including a dinner party and BBQ, I seem to have done okay. I was very conscientious with my eating at both events and stuck to my philosophy. It's fine to eat whatever you want, but just don't eat a lot of it. And for some reason it was easier to stick with things this weekend.
________________________________________
It seems like the being pretty diligent and having a good routine Monday through Friday seems to be paying off. I still have a harder time with Saturday and Sunday, but even with lots of good times this past weekend, including a dinner party and BBQ, I seem to have done okay. I was very conscientious with my eating at both events and stuck to my philosophy. It's fine to eat whatever you want, but just don't eat a lot of it. And for some reason it was easier to stick with things this weekend.
________________________________________
More good times...even though I haven't mentioned it lately, because I'm just a really bad challenge hostess, I still have my Big Girl Big Step Challenge going on. There's still 10 days to go and still time to join in. So, get out there the next week and a half and kick yourself some walking bootie.
Happy Monday to you all!
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Help Anyone?
A week from Sunday, the family and I are taking a 7 day road trip to Jackson Hole, WY and delivering a car there for a family friend. I'll be flying with The Little Miss from California to Las Vegas and The Husband will be meeting us there. By doing this, we'll save her from one additional day of being strapped into her car seat while she watches hours and hours of Dora, Diego, Super Why or whatever will keep her quiet for those countless hours. That quietness in the car is priceless and I'd like to make out with whoever it was that invented the portable DVD player. That magical person single handedly made my life better and the life of my child a lot longer, because honestly, without it, I may have strangled her many trips ago.
Well, I'm getting a little off track.
Vacation = me being gone.
Me being gone = no new posts.
So, a couple of things for you all. Does anyone know if blogger has a way to write a post and set it up to publish on a later date? If I could write some posts in advance and have them automatically post while I'm gone that would be great. Help anyone? Am I just being stupid?
Another option is would there be anyone that would want to guest blog for a day or so on my site while I'm gone? You could link back to your site possibly get some of my readers to your site. I don't have a tons of readers but the ones that do visit, are loyal and I appreciate each and everyone of them.
So, if you can help or want to do a guest post, email me at biggirl65@gmail.com
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Happy Friday everyone. I'm am soooo super looking forward to this weekend, as I always am. My mood brightens with every hour which passes until I get to 1pm, when I rush out of here to go pick up The Little Miss from her pre-school. Nothing beats having your little 2 year old run as fast as she can screaming Mama! Mama! and getting the biggest hug ever. Those moments are the absolute BEST.
We're planning on hitting the beach late this afternoon, after her nap, and hanging out there until dinner. Tomorrow if filled with a swim lesson, our weekly marketing and having some friends over for dinner. Sunday will be a day at the pool and BBQ at the house The Amazing Nanny is currently house sitting. Should be a fun summer weekend. Hope you all enjoy yours.
Well, I'm getting a little off track.
Vacation = me being gone.
Me being gone = no new posts.
So, a couple of things for you all. Does anyone know if blogger has a way to write a post and set it up to publish on a later date? If I could write some posts in advance and have them automatically post while I'm gone that would be great. Help anyone? Am I just being stupid?
Another option is would there be anyone that would want to guest blog for a day or so on my site while I'm gone? You could link back to your site possibly get some of my readers to your site. I don't have a tons of readers but the ones that do visit, are loyal and I appreciate each and everyone of them.
So, if you can help or want to do a guest post, email me at biggirl65@gmail.com
________________________________________________________
Happy Friday everyone. I'm am soooo super looking forward to this weekend, as I always am. My mood brightens with every hour which passes until I get to 1pm, when I rush out of here to go pick up The Little Miss from her pre-school. Nothing beats having your little 2 year old run as fast as she can screaming Mama! Mama! and getting the biggest hug ever. Those moments are the absolute BEST.
We're planning on hitting the beach late this afternoon, after her nap, and hanging out there until dinner. Tomorrow if filled with a swim lesson, our weekly marketing and having some friends over for dinner. Sunday will be a day at the pool and BBQ at the house The Amazing Nanny is currently house sitting. Should be a fun summer weekend. Hope you all enjoy yours.
I've Been Tagged!
The wonderful and fabulous (and also now private) Alli from Chocolate Cake for the Soul tagged me, so here goes.
5 things found in your bag:
1. Coupons
2. Pay stubs
3. Cute butterfly hair clips for The Little Miss
4. Smith's Rosebud Salve, which I heart but would heart it more if it has sunscreen in it.
5. A couple packets of Borba Skin Balance Aqua-Less Crystalline mix. It tastes great, (no calories, no sugar) but I have NO idea if this stuff does what it says it will. The Husband came home from with a couple sample cases of it so I thought I'd give it a try.
5 favorite things in your bedroom
Our bedroom is "under construction" right now so I can't say I even have 5 things in my bedroom that I like let alone 5 favorite things. So here's a plain list of 5 things that are in there.
1. My super cool bed
2. The fan which The Husband has to have on in order to sleep, even in the middle of winter. I hate it
3. Jars and jars of coins
4. A stack of books, some already read and some I'll be getting to soon. My current read is this.
5. The first real painting I ever bought. It's painted by David Skinner
5 things I have always wanted to
1. Be a philanthropist
2. Start my own business (I've actually done this once, but want to do it again)
3. Quit my job
4. Live a day without worry
5. Tell my sister-in-law how I really feel (I know this is so caddy, but there's a few things I'd like to say to her. I'd be as nice as I could, promise.)
5 things I'm currently into: I love love love all of these things.
1. Hummus
2. Sewing, especially things for The Little Miss
3. Making jewelry, especially for me
4. The feeling of wearing pants that are actually a bit big
5. The person that told me my ass was getting smaller
5 people I want to tag:
1. Tony
2. Christine
3. Suzi
4. DaDiva
5. Kate
5 things found in your bag:
1. Coupons
2. Pay stubs
3. Cute butterfly hair clips for The Little Miss
4. Smith's Rosebud Salve, which I heart but would heart it more if it has sunscreen in it.
5. A couple packets of Borba Skin Balance Aqua-Less Crystalline mix. It tastes great, (no calories, no sugar) but I have NO idea if this stuff does what it says it will. The Husband came home from with a couple sample cases of it so I thought I'd give it a try.
5 favorite things in your bedroom
Our bedroom is "under construction" right now so I can't say I even have 5 things in my bedroom that I like let alone 5 favorite things. So here's a plain list of 5 things that are in there.
1. My super cool bed
2. The fan which The Husband has to have on in order to sleep, even in the middle of winter. I hate it
3. Jars and jars of coins
4. A stack of books, some already read and some I'll be getting to soon. My current read is this.
5. The first real painting I ever bought. It's painted by David Skinner
5 things I have always wanted to
1. Be a philanthropist
2. Start my own business (I've actually done this once, but want to do it again)
3. Quit my job
4. Live a day without worry
5. Tell my sister-in-law how I really feel (I know this is so caddy, but there's a few things I'd like to say to her. I'd be as nice as I could, promise.)
5 things I'm currently into: I love love love all of these things.
1. Hummus
2. Sewing, especially things for The Little Miss
3. Making jewelry, especially for me
4. The feeling of wearing pants that are actually a bit big
5. The person that told me my ass was getting smaller
5 people I want to tag:
1. Tony
2. Christine
3. Suzi
4. DaDiva
5. Kate
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Nice Wording
I love compliments even if they go something like this:
"your ass is getting smaller all the time."
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
The Girl Effect
This has nothing to do with my personal journey with weight loss but it has a lot to do with my personal journey on this planet.
Monday, July 14, 2008
5 and 2
Monday again. Augh. Weekends are too short and my work weeks seem too long. I really need to have a little chat with the person who came up with the work 5 days to get 2 days off deal. I mean come on, what were they thinking? Apparently, they weren't.
The weekend was full of the same kind of nonsense they always are which means, trying to find ways to entertain The Little Miss, grocery shopping and they typical plethora of never ending household chores. It also means tip toeing around the landmines of ways to blow it by eating and drinking too much.
Monday through Friday I'm pretty much on cruise control. I sit in my little prison cell, I mean cubicle at work, I have my glass of ice water with a straw which I religiously sip on all day. I have a snack at about 10a, go for my walk at 11:45 and am back at my desk eating my 1/2 sandwich with no mayo and extra Dijon, on whole wheat by 1pm. I snack when I get home at 4pm and dinner is around 7pm, when The Husband gets home. It's easy for me to be in that routine and easy to stay the course.
Weekends however are different. I usually make 3 meals a day for the family, with breakfast on Sundays being a big deal. For example, this week it was banana pancakes, eggs and bacon. Oh so delish! I had a little of everything, small portions, but still, it's there. Then I graze, and peruse the cabinets for snacks. I look in the fridge, I forage through the pantry, and sometimes there's no end to the places I'll look for something. Luckily, I'm not stupid enough to keep cookies and sweet treats in the house but, regardless, I still hunt for something to satisfy me and usually will settle for something to put in my mouth. When that doesn't hit the spot, I start the hunting routine all over.
There's also the social obligations of the weekend. We usually try and have someone over for dinner on the weekend or go out one night. Yesterday we went out with another couple while The Little Miss and their Monkeys stayed at home with the babysitter. In other words, a drink and eat fest with other adults and no kids. In my world, that's HUGE and a cause for celebration! I usually manage to order something sensible but I probably had one or two extra drinks while the boys finished up their game of pool.
I also drink much less water on the weekends. I start out with good intentions and have a glass or bottle of water with me but I set it down and move on, forgetting to get back to it until hours have passed. In all, my water consumption is probably down 90% on the weekends.
It all adds up and by Sunday night, I'm usually not feeling great and want to get back to my weekday eating routine. I try and stay busy on the weekends so I don't end up eating too many calories, it's also my big days to get in long walks so that's a positive but in the end, I'm kinda ready for the weekday routine where I don't have to think about my food thing so much. I feel I've got a good routine in and I like not having to worry about it.
Now, I just need to reign in the weekends and find some good solutions on how to keep things under control. Regardless on how much I struggle on the weekend eating wise, I'm still not giving up those 2 days because, damn it, I've but in my 5 days and I deserve them.
Hope you all had a great weekend and here we go again. Happy Monday.
The weekend was full of the same kind of nonsense they always are which means, trying to find ways to entertain The Little Miss, grocery shopping and they typical plethora of never ending household chores. It also means tip toeing around the landmines of ways to blow it by eating and drinking too much.
Monday through Friday I'm pretty much on cruise control. I sit in my little prison cell, I mean cubicle at work, I have my glass of ice water with a straw which I religiously sip on all day. I have a snack at about 10a, go for my walk at 11:45 and am back at my desk eating my 1/2 sandwich with no mayo and extra Dijon, on whole wheat by 1pm. I snack when I get home at 4pm and dinner is around 7pm, when The Husband gets home. It's easy for me to be in that routine and easy to stay the course.
Weekends however are different. I usually make 3 meals a day for the family, with breakfast on Sundays being a big deal. For example, this week it was banana pancakes, eggs and bacon. Oh so delish! I had a little of everything, small portions, but still, it's there. Then I graze, and peruse the cabinets for snacks. I look in the fridge, I forage through the pantry, and sometimes there's no end to the places I'll look for something. Luckily, I'm not stupid enough to keep cookies and sweet treats in the house but, regardless, I still hunt for something to satisfy me and usually will settle for something to put in my mouth. When that doesn't hit the spot, I start the hunting routine all over.
There's also the social obligations of the weekend. We usually try and have someone over for dinner on the weekend or go out one night. Yesterday we went out with another couple while The Little Miss and their Monkeys stayed at home with the babysitter. In other words, a drink and eat fest with other adults and no kids. In my world, that's HUGE and a cause for celebration! I usually manage to order something sensible but I probably had one or two extra drinks while the boys finished up their game of pool.
I also drink much less water on the weekends. I start out with good intentions and have a glass or bottle of water with me but I set it down and move on, forgetting to get back to it until hours have passed. In all, my water consumption is probably down 90% on the weekends.
It all adds up and by Sunday night, I'm usually not feeling great and want to get back to my weekday eating routine. I try and stay busy on the weekends so I don't end up eating too many calories, it's also my big days to get in long walks so that's a positive but in the end, I'm kinda ready for the weekday routine where I don't have to think about my food thing so much. I feel I've got a good routine in and I like not having to worry about it.
Now, I just need to reign in the weekends and find some good solutions on how to keep things under control. Regardless on how much I struggle on the weekend eating wise, I'm still not giving up those 2 days because, damn it, I've but in my 5 days and I deserve them.
Hope you all had a great weekend and here we go again. Happy Monday.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
A Casting Call and Holding on Tight
For anyone who might be interested, I came across this. I think it sounds pretty fun. Too bad I'm too old.
Casting Call: A new reality weight loss series for Lifetime is casting, looking for a group of real-life girlfriends who all want to lose between 20-50 pounds and who are 28-35 years old. If selected, the friends will go through a 90-day fitness transformation with the help of trainers and life coaches. Interested applicants can send an email to lifetime@beyondcasting.com or call 818-255-9330.
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This week has been good. I've been making smart decisions and I'm feeling the strength and will power to move forward and move beyond the where I'm at right now. As each good day passes, I can see the string of days getting longer and my attitude becoming more solidified.
However, as I read through the blogs, I find a lot of people struggling over different methods of weight loss. There are those where counting points has become frustrating or limiting, there are others where the increase of exercise isn't working and others where eating practically nothing hasn't budged the scale. Levels of frustration seem to be hitting an all time high and it doesn't need to be that way.
I'm in this same boat with all of you. I want to lose weight. No doubt. And I don't want to come off as though I know all the answers because I don't. I'm far from it. I've never done WW, South Beach, Beverly Hills, Atkins, Pritikin or any other formalized diet plan. But I have found a formula which seems to be working for me and I'm happy about that. I want each and everyone to have the same good fortune, or whatever it is, to find something that works for you.
Casting Call: A new reality weight loss series for Lifetime is casting, looking for a group of real-life girlfriends who all want to lose between 20-50 pounds and who are 28-35 years old. If selected, the friends will go through a 90-day fitness transformation with the help of trainers and life coaches. Interested applicants can send an email to lifetime@beyondcasting.com or call 818-255-9330.
________________________________________________
This week has been good. I've been making smart decisions and I'm feeling the strength and will power to move forward and move beyond the where I'm at right now. As each good day passes, I can see the string of days getting longer and my attitude becoming more solidified.
However, as I read through the blogs, I find a lot of people struggling over different methods of weight loss. There are those where counting points has become frustrating or limiting, there are others where the increase of exercise isn't working and others where eating practically nothing hasn't budged the scale. Levels of frustration seem to be hitting an all time high and it doesn't need to be that way.
I'm in this same boat with all of you. I want to lose weight. No doubt. And I don't want to come off as though I know all the answers because I don't. I'm far from it. I've never done WW, South Beach, Beverly Hills, Atkins, Pritikin or any other formalized diet plan. But I have found a formula which seems to be working for me and I'm happy about that. I want each and everyone to have the same good fortune, or whatever it is, to find something that works for you.
I know there isn't one plan which will work for everyone but it seems as though there's a lot of over thinking and over obsessing that's happening. It almost seems like the stress of losing weight, making this "life style change", the eating healthy is getting the best of people. Let's all just take a deep breath and relax about it. We, of course, all have our struggles, our frustrations, the mental gymnastics we go through, our past we deal with but just remember, the tighter you hold on to something the harder it is to let it go.
Still A Long Way to Go
I was reminded last night just how far I still need to go. I went to Mom's last night for dinner and in her recent travels she had bought me this blouse, but with 5 buttons down the front and in a really pretty pattern and not stripped, because she thought it "looked like me." Knowing that I am a big girl, she of course picked up the extra large. It was all very sweet and thoughtful of her. (on a side note, I would NEVER have spent the $58 for it.) I went to try it on and and aughhh. A total failure. The buttons were basically popping out, not only was it tight on the top but tight on the belly as well. I almost cried, seriously.
Just recently, I've been feeling so much better about myself. Feeling more like my old self and feeling that I might actually be able to walk into a store and buy regular sized clothes again. Putting that top on last night was a real set back for me. It made those feelings of ugliness and being overweight come to the surface. My self-esteem just plummeted as I looked at myself in the mirror. I once again felt disgusting and gross.
I walked out of the bathroom and announced with a smile, to those still at the dinner table, "it's too small." The look on my face must have told the true story because my The Husband looked at me with such loving eyes and gave me that I love you, I'm proud of who you are and you look wonderful to me look. It made me melt. I so married the right guy.
After that small little set back last night, I'm feeling better today. The past few days have been really good on the refocused I'm-so-going-to-lose-this-weight plan. I've been able to take my lunch hour walks, I'm eating well and eating small portions. I've also increased my water intake and now spend 31% of my day either getting water or going to the bathroom. I'm sure my boss is thinking I'm slacking off even more since I'm sure he is watching me get up from my desk at least 17 times before lunch.
I'm ready to tackle today and walk past that bowl of mini-candy bars sitting in the cubicle next to mine. Can I just tell you how much I hate it when there's chocolate in the office? Especially those delicious bite size morsels. Especially in the afternoon when I'm craving a little treat. I think the plan is to visualize myself in the bathroom last night with that too small top on and I should be able to whiz right on by.
Just recently, I've been feeling so much better about myself. Feeling more like my old self and feeling that I might actually be able to walk into a store and buy regular sized clothes again. Putting that top on last night was a real set back for me. It made those feelings of ugliness and being overweight come to the surface. My self-esteem just plummeted as I looked at myself in the mirror. I once again felt disgusting and gross.
I walked out of the bathroom and announced with a smile, to those still at the dinner table, "it's too small." The look on my face must have told the true story because my The Husband looked at me with such loving eyes and gave me that I love you, I'm proud of who you are and you look wonderful to me look. It made me melt. I so married the right guy.
After that small little set back last night, I'm feeling better today. The past few days have been really good on the refocused I'm-so-going-to-lose-this-weight plan. I've been able to take my lunch hour walks, I'm eating well and eating small portions. I've also increased my water intake and now spend 31% of my day either getting water or going to the bathroom. I'm sure my boss is thinking I'm slacking off even more since I'm sure he is watching me get up from my desk at least 17 times before lunch.
I'm ready to tackle today and walk past that bowl of mini-candy bars sitting in the cubicle next to mine. Can I just tell you how much I hate it when there's chocolate in the office? Especially those delicious bite size morsels. Especially in the afternoon when I'm craving a little treat. I think the plan is to visualize myself in the bathroom last night with that too small top on and I should be able to whiz right on by.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Just a Bunch of Stuff
Well yesterday was another good day. I'm back down to my lowest, after gaining a pound or two over the past few days but for me that's neither here nor there. I'm looking at the bigger picture and the trend of weight loss. It's funny, I don't sweat the little ups but I really like to celebrate the losses.
In our bathroom, we have a cheap-o Taylor plastic scale, like this which The Husband picked up at Target a few months ago. It seems a little flimsy but I feel as though it's been working for me and I figure as long as I weigh myself on the same scale, I'll get the gist of what my weight is doing. Well this morning I stepped on it and the plastic cracked. Yes folks, I literally broke the plastic on my scale. Is that considered a fine example of irony or what? The weight display seems to be working still so I hope we get more use out of it before we have to chuck it. In the mean time, anybody out there have a good suggestion for a scale that I'm not going to break? I like the digital models and don't want to spend a fortune on it so if you got a goodie, let me know.
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While cruising the blog sphere yesterday Ready To Shrink piqued my interest in motivations and what is it that keeps us going or in my case, gets me going again. I hear a lot of times people are motivated to lose weight because they now have kids and they want to be around longer for them. I've thought about that on several occasions and honestly, I can't say I'm doing this for The Little Miss. I'm doing it for me. I want to feel better. I want to look better. I want people to react to me differently. I want to feel healthy and in shape and I want people to see me as healthy and in shape. I want to feel pretty. Of course, I want to be a good role model for my daughter and give her the tools to have a healthy self image and not have food/weight issues. And by doing all of this for me, I can only hope I'm steering her in the right direction.
_____________________________________
In other news, if you haven't already been there, it seems as though Grumpy is going through some major stuff right now and you might want to stop by and give her some support.
In our bathroom, we have a cheap-o Taylor plastic scale, like this which The Husband picked up at Target a few months ago. It seems a little flimsy but I feel as though it's been working for me and I figure as long as I weigh myself on the same scale, I'll get the gist of what my weight is doing. Well this morning I stepped on it and the plastic cracked. Yes folks, I literally broke the plastic on my scale. Is that considered a fine example of irony or what? The weight display seems to be working still so I hope we get more use out of it before we have to chuck it. In the mean time, anybody out there have a good suggestion for a scale that I'm not going to break? I like the digital models and don't want to spend a fortune on it so if you got a goodie, let me know.
_____________________________________
While cruising the blog sphere yesterday Ready To Shrink piqued my interest in motivations and what is it that keeps us going or in my case, gets me going again. I hear a lot of times people are motivated to lose weight because they now have kids and they want to be around longer for them. I've thought about that on several occasions and honestly, I can't say I'm doing this for The Little Miss. I'm doing it for me. I want to feel better. I want to look better. I want people to react to me differently. I want to feel healthy and in shape and I want people to see me as healthy and in shape. I want to feel pretty. Of course, I want to be a good role model for my daughter and give her the tools to have a healthy self image and not have food/weight issues. And by doing all of this for me, I can only hope I'm steering her in the right direction.
_____________________________________
In other news, if you haven't already been there, it seems as though Grumpy is going through some major stuff right now and you might want to stop by and give her some support.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow
I had one good day, now I'm ready to pair it with another. It's amazing how just having one under my belt has tweaked my perspective just enough to make me believe again that, yes, I can do this. We all can do this. I'm done talking about it, I'm done worrying about failure, I'm done with the b.s. This is it and my time is now. I'm ready for the hard work, I'm ready for the struggles and I'm ready for the pay off.
When I first started, not so long ago, back in March I was tired, but totally motivated. I was tired of feeling tired, tired of feeling extra large, tired of feeling the pinch of the waistband and mostly tired of not feeling like myself anymore. I was also tired of thinking that other people saw me as fat and tired of what other people thought of me as I shoved yet more food into my pie hole. I've lost 23 pounds, moved from being obese to overweight and feeling much better about myself. I have more energy, my pants aren't pinching anymore and I'm feeling more like "me." But I'm not yet satisfied.
So it's my time again, I'm feeling the motivation wash over me and it feels good. My immediate goal is to string one good day to the next good day. The bigger goal is to lose another 25 pounds. That is a lot for me and that also represents a lot of work and a lot of diligence. But hitting that goal will also represent success.
My plan is this, as it always has been:
Eat well but mostly eat small portions
Eat slowly
Drink water
Limit my alcohol intake
Exercise
Stay positive
Have fun
Repeat above steps over and over and over, hope, and pray.
Today is another day to have success. Another day and another chance to link one more good day with yesterday and tomorrow.
When I first started, not so long ago, back in March I was tired, but totally motivated. I was tired of feeling tired, tired of feeling extra large, tired of feeling the pinch of the waistband and mostly tired of not feeling like myself anymore. I was also tired of thinking that other people saw me as fat and tired of what other people thought of me as I shoved yet more food into my pie hole. I've lost 23 pounds, moved from being obese to overweight and feeling much better about myself. I have more energy, my pants aren't pinching anymore and I'm feeling more like "me." But I'm not yet satisfied.
So it's my time again, I'm feeling the motivation wash over me and it feels good. My immediate goal is to string one good day to the next good day. The bigger goal is to lose another 25 pounds. That is a lot for me and that also represents a lot of work and a lot of diligence. But hitting that goal will also represent success.
My plan is this, as it always has been:
Eat well but mostly eat small portions
Eat slowly
Drink water
Limit my alcohol intake
Exercise
Stay positive
Have fun
Repeat above steps over and over and over, hope, and pray.
Today is another day to have success. Another day and another chance to link one more good day with yesterday and tomorrow.
Monday, July 7, 2008
I'm Back and Ready
I'm back from spending the long holiday weekend in San Francisco and back to reality. There was so much happening last week, I was beginning to feel a bit frayed and off kilter. I've got a little bit of rejuvenation going on and can only hope it lasts longer than a few hours. It often seems as though I get back into the office and right away start getting that sinking feeling in my gut this is not where I want to be and I feel the stress and anxiety of being back in the grind. Not a healthy thing, at all.
We left Thursday after work with the fire raging. There were a few moments where I was feeling a uneasy about leaving, but I packed our passports and some important documents into the car and figured that is what I would take if we were one of the 1700 or so homes asked to evacuate. As it turned out, no homes were burned, the fire took a turn away from the city and the weather cooled a bit, helping all the firefighting efforts. It's a big sigh of relief. Now we just have the ash and poor air quality to deal with but that's really nothing compared to standing in your driveway seeing the flames of a fire heading in your direction.
So, here it is Monday. Augh. I hate Mondays. I especially hated it this morning when the alarm rang at 5:30am. That just seems so unnatural to me to be jolted awake by a screeching noise. Really, that can't be good for you. I need to refocus this week and get the groove back in July, so this is what I'm working on.
Water - drink lots
Wine - drink less
Food - eat smaller portions
Exercise - take as many lunch time walks as possible and incorporate longer walks on the weekend
100 Push-Up Challenge - I know this has been raging through the blog world but Manuela's post last week roped me in. I figure, I can find the time for this and really, it can't hurt can it?
Speaking of challenges, remember I'm hosting as part of the Scale Junkie's Summer Blog Party and I've got the Big Girl Big Step Challenge happening right now. I hope all you lovely ladies who have signed up are walking up a storm and finding that little pedometer really makes a difference. It's not to late to get into the action and be a part of what's happening over here so let me know if you want in. If there's interest from the participants to know what people's biggest step count is at this point, let me know and I'll put it out there for everyone.
Hope you all had a nice weekend and let's make this a good week, I'm ready are you?
We left Thursday after work with the fire raging. There were a few moments where I was feeling a uneasy about leaving, but I packed our passports and some important documents into the car and figured that is what I would take if we were one of the 1700 or so homes asked to evacuate. As it turned out, no homes were burned, the fire took a turn away from the city and the weather cooled a bit, helping all the firefighting efforts. It's a big sigh of relief. Now we just have the ash and poor air quality to deal with but that's really nothing compared to standing in your driveway seeing the flames of a fire heading in your direction.
So, here it is Monday. Augh. I hate Mondays. I especially hated it this morning when the alarm rang at 5:30am. That just seems so unnatural to me to be jolted awake by a screeching noise. Really, that can't be good for you. I need to refocus this week and get the groove back in July, so this is what I'm working on.
Water - drink lots
Wine - drink less
Food - eat smaller portions
Exercise - take as many lunch time walks as possible and incorporate longer walks on the weekend
100 Push-Up Challenge - I know this has been raging through the blog world but Manuela's post last week roped me in. I figure, I can find the time for this and really, it can't hurt can it?
Speaking of challenges, remember I'm hosting as part of the Scale Junkie's Summer Blog Party and I've got the Big Girl Big Step Challenge happening right now. I hope all you lovely ladies who have signed up are walking up a storm and finding that little pedometer really makes a difference. It's not to late to get into the action and be a part of what's happening over here so let me know if you want in. If there's interest from the participants to know what people's biggest step count is at this point, let me know and I'll put it out there for everyone.
Hope you all had a nice weekend and let's make this a good week, I'm ready are you?
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Ready For the Weekend
It's been a long stressful week and I'm so ready for this weekend.
With the whole mammogram thingy and the fire that is still out of control it's been a very trying week for me. To compound the challenges, The Husband has been crazy working 16 hour days and not getting home until well into the wee hours of the morning. In fact one day I got the voicemail message, "I'll try and make it home before you go to work." Not really want I wanted to hear but I understood. He's in the beverage industry, and for obvious reasons, the 4th of July weekend is one of the largest volume weekends of the year for him.
The fire has burned over 1000 acres and is less than 5% contained. Throughout the day you can see and hear the planes heading toward the edge of the fire to drop the retardant to help fight the battle. There was a lot more smoke in the air yesterday and today County Public Health has issued a health advisory because of the increase in ash in the air. Lot's of people woke to a layer of ash on their cars and I'm feeling itchy eyes and a little headachey from the poor air quality. The glow from the fire was much more prominent throughout the night but still several miles from my home. The chance it actually heads in my direction is slim. But being one who worries about everything, I still have a very noticeable level of anxiety about it.
There have been power outages across the city and I lost power around 7 last night. I broke out candles and flashlights and tried to make being in the dark a game for The Little Miss. We had fun playing I Spy in the house, a game usually reserved for car rides, by shining our flashlights on different objects. We read bed time books by flashlight and pretended we were camping. It was such simple innocent fun.
Regardless of the fun times I had with The Little Miss, it was hard being a single parent this week. I miss The Husband and learned I do count on him for so much. I was single for 39 years and in my adult years, relied on myself for everything. But I now know, I'm not in this by myself anymore and now share the weight of it with another person. It's amazing to me in just a few years how much I have grown to rely on The Husband. Everything from making sure there are flashlights in the house to holding my hand when I told him about my call on Tuesday, even if it was at 2 in the morning when he got home. I was reminded over and over again what a nice family of three we are, and I like it that way.
With the whole mammogram thingy and the fire that is still out of control it's been a very trying week for me. To compound the challenges, The Husband has been crazy working 16 hour days and not getting home until well into the wee hours of the morning. In fact one day I got the voicemail message, "I'll try and make it home before you go to work." Not really want I wanted to hear but I understood. He's in the beverage industry, and for obvious reasons, the 4th of July weekend is one of the largest volume weekends of the year for him.
The fire has burned over 1000 acres and is less than 5% contained. Throughout the day you can see and hear the planes heading toward the edge of the fire to drop the retardant to help fight the battle. There was a lot more smoke in the air yesterday and today County Public Health has issued a health advisory because of the increase in ash in the air. Lot's of people woke to a layer of ash on their cars and I'm feeling itchy eyes and a little headachey from the poor air quality. The glow from the fire was much more prominent throughout the night but still several miles from my home. The chance it actually heads in my direction is slim. But being one who worries about everything, I still have a very noticeable level of anxiety about it.
There have been power outages across the city and I lost power around 7 last night. I broke out candles and flashlights and tried to make being in the dark a game for The Little Miss. We had fun playing I Spy in the house, a game usually reserved for car rides, by shining our flashlights on different objects. We read bed time books by flashlight and pretended we were camping. It was such simple innocent fun.
Regardless of the fun times I had with The Little Miss, it was hard being a single parent this week. I miss The Husband and learned I do count on him for so much. I was single for 39 years and in my adult years, relied on myself for everything. But I now know, I'm not in this by myself anymore and now share the weight of it with another person. It's amazing to me in just a few years how much I have grown to rely on The Husband. Everything from making sure there are flashlights in the house to holding my hand when I told him about my call on Tuesday, even if it was at 2 in the morning when he got home. I was reminded over and over again what a nice family of three we are, and I like it that way.
So today I pack up our things and head out of town. We're making the drive to San Francisco for a few days to get away from all this craziness. We're going to see a baseball game, have dinner with a long time friend and watch fireworks over the city.
Happy 4th of July for those who celebrate it and for those of you who don't, have yourself a very safe and lovely weekend.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
The Update
First off, you gals totally ROCK! Thank you so much for all the hugs and support. Seriously, it helped, A LOT.
I just got back from my follow-up mammogram. After having my boob squished in a couple new and interesting directions they were able to "spread the tissue" enough to see absolutely NOTHING!!! yeah!
Now I just need to worry about the fire that started last night just north of our house. It's still pretty far away but close enough I could see the red glow of the flames from our driveway. It's still not contained but the weather and winds are co-operating so unless things go very very wrong it seems like things will be OK.
On my weight loss front, maybe all this worry has done me good. I lost another pound, finally. And now down a total of 23.
I just got back from my follow-up mammogram. After having my boob squished in a couple new and interesting directions they were able to "spread the tissue" enough to see absolutely NOTHING!!! yeah!
Now I just need to worry about the fire that started last night just north of our house. It's still pretty far away but close enough I could see the red glow of the flames from our driveway. It's still not contained but the weather and winds are co-operating so unless things go very very wrong it seems like things will be OK.
On my weight loss front, maybe all this worry has done me good. I lost another pound, finally. And now down a total of 23.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Not Sure What to Think
I had my mammogram done the last week. I got a call today the doctor wants to take a closer look at some of my breast tissue. I'm going in tomorrow for a more detailed look. I'm a bit worried.
I'll keep you all posted.
I'll keep you all posted.
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